The holiday season is in full swing, bringing parties, gatherings, and festive meals. While it appears to be a time of constant connection, many actually spend their holidays alone. For some, it’s due to limited social and family circles or a break-up/divorce; for others past trauma makes participation difficult. Whatever the reason, if you find yourself spending this season on your own, whether it’s by choice or not, just know that you truly can experience it with amazing joy. The big key is to realize if you’re all you’ve got over the holidays, then you ARE enough!
All the fanfare makes it seem as connecting with friends or family or on social media are the only ways to enjoy the season, but connecting doesn’t have to be defined by those parameters. Connecting could be with people outside of a regular social circle or with yourself. And when you can control how you connect, then there is attainable peace for the holidays.
If you are interested in connecting with people, then you may consider volunteering. By its nature alone, volunteering is a connection. When you offer yourself you are making a difference in the lives of other volunteers and those receiving a service. Selfless acts such as this have a way of filling your heart with warmth and gratitude, even if you had warmth and gratitude to begin with; you can never have too much of that kind of a good thing. If you begin to volunteer often, each experience will resonate with you, occupying your thoughts more than other matters.
Connecting with others doesn’t always mean forming lifelong friendships. Sometimes it’s simply sharing a small, positive moment with random people you encounter. Maybe the person handing you your coffee has a cool tattoo, or the cashier at the dollar store is wearing a perfume that smells amazing. If something about them stands out, say so. These little exchanges may last only a few seconds, but they fill your soul—and theirs. The more you offer kindness, the more connected you are and the better you feel.
Show yourself how much you love you and are worth special treatment by making (or taking out) your favorite meal once a week from now until after the new year. Make it a fantastic dinner (or breakfast or lunch) customized JUST to you and don’t hold back. Decorate the table with fresh flowers and use your best dishes and flatware. Drink your favorite drink and have dessert! You deserve only the best. If there are leftovers, then bonus, they can be used for future meal preps.
If spirituality or faith is part of your life, consider attending a service—online or in person. Sharing space (even virtually) with others who hold similar beliefs can create a sense of belonging and uplift your spirit. With countless livestream services and recordings available, you can view according your schedule. Moments of spiritual unity, whatever that looks like for you, can remind you that you’re supported in ways that go beyond routine interactions. Connecting with someone or something that is of a higher power builds confidence in knowing that while you may be single, you are not alone.
You can also have a holiday movie marathon. Pick a list of films—heartwarming, funny, nostalgic, or anything that brings you joy—and watch one or maybe even two each night. Add cozy touches like hot tea or cocoa, popcorn, or a crackling fire if you have a fireplace. This routine can become a comforting highlight of your day, whether you unwind after work or if you’re working a later shift, you can start your morning on a peaceful note. It sets precedent for starting the day on the right foot and spreading a cheerful attitude to others as you work.
If you really want to indulge in an activity that not only occupies your mind, but increases your aptitude and understanding, then find a skill you’ve always wanted to master, work on the skill and think of ways you can use this skill to improve others’ lives. For instance, if you like to work on cars, find a way to increase your knowledge surrounding car issues. Perhaps your background is combustible engines, but you want to learn about electric cars. Or perhaps you want to start your own side gig making quilts. Or perhaps you like to cook and always wanted to try your hand at cake decorating. There are thousands of how-to videos on YouTube, Vimeo, Udemy, and more. You can actually become an expert at your own pace. An activity such as this occupies your mind, adds substance to your life, and when you share your skill, it adds substance to others’ lives, too.
If you celebrate Christmas, then on Christmas day create a cozy atmosphere in your home. Light candles that have a “Christmasy” smell, such as evergreen or vanilla or peppermint. Take a long bath with cranberry bath bombs. Use a rich oil to moisturize your skin while drinking a nice tea or a glass of wine. Do your hair, make-up, and put on a special outfit. Take extra time fixing your special meal to be on Christmas day. Give yourself a gift(s) that was/were wrapped in advance. Spend time prayerfully thanking God for sending His son. During Hanukkah, you can do the same thing–celebrate each day and on the final night, light all eight candles of the menorah plus the shamash. Have your special spa-day and dress up. For your special meal, enjoy potato pancakes and sufganiyot (jelly-filled doughnuts). Give yourself gelt. Thank God for the miracles performed during Hanukkah. Position the menorah in a visible location to laud the miracle. If it’s Kwanzaa that you celebrate, then try the things discussed in this article to recognize unity, self-determination, collective work and responsibility, cooperative economics, purpose, creativity, and faith. Whatever your faith, simply practice gratitude. Take time to reflect on what you’re grateful for and focus on the positive things in your life. When we’re grateful for the things we do have, we forget the things we don’t have or they seemingly feel less important. And truly, it is a great time of year to reflect on the blessings that are present.
Sometimes it can be challenging to be alone for the holidays. Focusing on the things you can touch, see, smell, and control will change your experience to make the holidays enjoyable and fulfilling. It’s a great time to start your very own new traditions or skills that will naturally increase those serotonin levels. Your presence, your well-being, and your happiness matter. Just remember, you ARE enough.
LaFASA News 