Tag: mental-health

Supporting Sexual Assault Survivors During the Holidays: A Guide for Friends and Family

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The holiday season is often portrayed as a time of joy, connection, and celebration. But for sexual assault survivors, the season can be emotionally challenging. Memories of past trauma, gatherings with unfamiliar people, or even festive traditions can unexpectedly trigger feelings of anxiety, sadness, or distress. For those who love and support family members who live with trauma, it’s important to recognize these struggles and respond with compassion and care.

Understanding the Impact
Holidays can be overwhelming for many reasons—busy schedules, family dynamics, and the pressure to feel “merry.” For survivors, these stressors may be compounded by painful reminders of their experiences. A seemingly harmless hug from a relative, a song on the radio, or even an unfamiliar environment can unexpectedly bring trauma to the surface.

How to Be a Source of Comfort
If you notice a loved one withdrawing, becoming emotional, or seeming unlike themselves, consider these supportive actions:

  1. Listen Without Judgment
    If they open up about their feelings, listen actively and without interrupting. Avoid minimizing their emotions or rushing to “fix” things. Sometimes, just being heard is profoundly healing.
  2. Respect Their Boundaries
    Survivors often need to set personal boundaries to feel safe. If they decline invitations, limit physical contact, or step away from gatherings, respect their decisions without questioning or pressuring them.
  3. Create a Safe Space
    Let them know they are not alone. A quiet corner, a warm conversation, or the reassurance that they can leave an event at any time can make a significant difference.
  4. Offer Support, Not Solutions
    Phrases like “I’m here for you,” “You’re safe with me,” or “It’s okay to feel this way” can be more comforting than advice or attempts to cheer them up.
  5. Educate Yourself
    Understanding trauma and its impact can help you better support your loved one. Familiarize yourself with resources and strategies for providing trauma-informed care. Lafasa.org/

Shifting the Narrative
While holidays can be difficult for survivors, they can also be an opportunity to build stronger, more understanding relationships. By showing patience, empathy, and love, you can help your loved one navigate the season with a sense of safety and belonging.

This holiday season, let’s all commit to being mindful of the diverse experiences within our circles and approach each person with kindness. Sometimes, the greatest gift we can give is our unwavering support.

For extensive resources we encourage you to visit https://www.lafasa.org/howtosupportsurvivors under the advocates tab or https://www.lafasa.org/brochuresandpublications under the members and allies tab or under the survivors tab https://www.lafasa.org/survivorfaqs.

If you can use extra emotional support during the holidays or any time, contact the statewide helpline via text: 225-351-7233, chat: lafasa.org or phone: 888-995-7273.

Baking traditional heritage holiday cookies can be rewarding and a great way to unwind

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by Kelli Knight

I have a couple of friends that carry on a Sicilian tradition every Christmas. Their families have gathered together to make cuccidati cookies since they were young, and I’m sure their parents did the same. They gather with siblings and children, and undoubtedly the latest generation will continue this tradition their parents have upheld. This got me thinking, baking, especially during the holidays, offers a unique way to unwind and find joy amidst the seasonal chaos. It also creates an opportunity to craft heartfelt, personal gifts. I vividly recall a Christmas when a classmate brought galletas con chochitos, a delightful Mexican cookie, to our school party as a gift for my class. There’s something profoundly special about baking a recipe tied to your heritage or personal memories—it adds an immeasurable layer of meaning.

With so many traditional cookies from cultures around the world, I thought it would be pretty nifty to share a couple recipes and a resource with a link to many more. Whether you’re baking to create lasting memories, relieve stress, give meaningful gifts, or simply for the love of it, these recipes can offer something special for everyone, no matter your cultural background.

Traditional Scicilian cuccidati fig cookies:
Dough: 2 cups of flour, 1 cup of granulated sugar, 2 eggs, 2 sticks of butter, 1 tspn of salt, 1 tblspn of baking power. Mix these ingredients ahead of making your filling. Mix in a food processor until they form a ball. Take the ball and split in two. Wrap each dough ball and place in the refrigerator for at least one hour, and up to three days.
Filling: Large bag of dried figs, 1 cup of walnuts or pistachios (or both), 1 cup of raisins, 1/2 cup of honey, 1 tblspn of cinnamon, 1 tblspn of ground clove or nutmeg, 1/2 cup of bourbon or brandy or rum or orange juice for a non-alcoholic version.
Place all ingredients into a food processor and chop into a mixture that is sticky, but pliable.

When ready, take out the dough and roll flat. Take the filling and roll into the shape of a log. Then, place the filling onto the flattened dough and proceed to roll the dough over the filling like a blanket. Trim the dough so that it only rolls over the filling once. Cut the log into one inch slices with a sharp knife. Bake in a preheated over at 350° for 15 minutes. Take them out and let them cool. When room temperature, place on a rack and drizzle with a mixture of confectioners sugar and cream. Let that harden, and your cookies are done.

My mom’s family is from Larose, La. My great-grandmother made pralines with condensed milk and this tradition has been passed on to us.
Pralines from Larose:
Before starting, make sure you have a cookie sheet covered with wax paper prepared.
Ingredients: 1 cup of pecans halfs, 1 cup of granulated sugar, 1 can of sweetened condensed milk, 2 tblspns of butter, 1/2 tspn salt, and 1 tspn of vanilla extract
Cook the ingredients over a low heat. A double boiler works best for this recipe, but isn’t necessary if you make sure not to burn the sugar. When the mixture is a viscous liquid, it’s ready to be poured. Pour into two to three inch puddles and let harden.

For a list of great cookies for any occasion whether your heritage is Pakistani, South African, Japanese, or other regions around the world, click this link.

If you are in need of emotional support we encourage you to seek assistance from the statewide helpline by text (225-351-7233), chat (lafasa.org) or phone (888-995-7273). If you are having suicidal thoughts call 988 or 911.

When we body-shame ourselves

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Body shaming can leave emotional scars and many of us shame ourselves, regardless of our size. With the right strategies, you can rebuild your self-esteem and develop a healthier relationship with your body. Here are some ways to overcome the effects of body shaming:

Develop Self-Compassion
  • Practice Self-Love: Treat yourself with kindness and compassion. Shift your focus to your strengths and qualities that make you unique. Daily affirmations and self-acceptance exercises can help foster a more positive relationship with yourself.
  • Forgive Yourself for Negative Self-Talk: Body shaming can cause people to internalize negative messages about their appearance, leading to harsh self-criticism. When you catch yourself engaging in negative self-talk, gently remind yourself that those thoughts aren’t facts, and try to reframe them with kindness. It’s okay to have difficult days, but over time, replacing negative thoughts with positive ones can help break the cycle of shame.

Focus on Health and Well-being (not weight)

  • Shift Your Focus to Health, Not Appearance: Instead of fixating on appearance or weight, try to focus on how your body feels and what it can do. Incorporate physical activity, nutritious eating, and self-care practices that make you feel strong, energized, and confident, rather than aiming for an aesthetic goal.
  • Health at Every Size (HAES): This approach emphasizes that people can pursue health and well-being at any size and focuses on behaviors that support overall health (like regular movement, balanced nutrition, and stress management) rather than trying to conform to a specific body shape.
Rebuild Your Self-Esteem
  • Practice Gratitude for Your Body: Make a habit of acknowledging and being grateful for what your body does for you every day, whether it’s allowing you to walk, dance, hug loved ones, or simply survive. This shift in focus from what your body looks like to what it can do can help create a healthier relationship with it.
Set Boundaries and Assert Yourself
  • Address Body Shaming Behavior: People close to you may not understand that you have issues with your appearance. They may make comments about others to you, which in effect deepens your shaming because if that’s what they say about someone else, what are they saying about you behind your back? It’s toxic talk that can be addressed regardless of to whom it is directed. If someone close to you engages in body shaming, it’s important to set clear boundaries. You can assert yourself by letting them know how their comments make you feel and asking them to stop. For example, you might say, “I’d appreciate it if we could avoid conversations about weight or appearance. It’s not something I’m comfortable discussing.”
  • Limit Exposure to Harmful Environments: If certain spaces or people consistently body shame you or others, it’s okay to distance yourself from them. Protecting your mental and emotional health is a priority, and creating safe environments for yourself is an important part of healing.
Practice Mindfulness and Body Neutrality
  • Mindful Self-Reflection: Practices such as prayer, mindfulness, and journaling can help you become more accepting about your body without self-judgment. These practices allow you to observe your thoughts and emotions and cultivate a non-reactive and accepting attitude toward your body.
Take Small, Empowering Steps
  • Redefine Your Relationship with Clothing: Wear clothes that make you feel comfortable and confident, regardless of societal opinions or trends. Dressing for yourself, rather than others, can be a powerful act of self-expression and confidence.
  • Engage in Activities You Enjoy: Participate in activities and hobbies that make you feel good about yourself. Whether it’s dancing, painting, or hiking, engaging in activities you enjoy can shift the focus away from body appearance and toward personal fulfillment and joy.
Talk to Professional
  • It doesn’t have to be a counselor or therapist: If you’re not into talking with a counselor or therapist, then that is not the right route for you. Finding professionals who can help you take in a healthy diet, dress so you feel confident, and participate in medical practices that are most beneficial to you could be all you need.

Overcoming the effects of body shaming requires self-compassion, patience, and a conscious effort to rebuild self-esteem. This is a change in lifestyle, not a temporary thing. By surrounding yourself with positive influences, seeking professional support, focusing on health rather than appearance, and setting boundaries, you can begin to heal from the trauma of body shaming. Embracing body diversity and practicing mindfulness can further help in fostering a more positive relationship with your body, enabling you to live a life free from shame and full of self-acceptance.